Pain
by Son-Gohan-SSJ2
Summary: Gohan is lost after his father dies in the Cell Games. He is over come with grief and pain. Songfic.


**DISCLAIMER**

I don't own Dragon Ball or anything related to the Dragon Ball Universe. If I did do you think I would be writing this?

I don't own the song Futatsu No Negai.

**A/N **

Reviews welcome.

This chapter is a song 'fic'. The song is Futatsu No Negai off of the anime D.. Search for it on youtube and listen to it. I translated it for the story.

Pain:

_Softly, softly, I close my eyes_

_Feeling you..._

The night was young as a cold breeze ran through the mountains. Dirt off of the track was kicked into the air a little as the breeze passed. Forest trees played magic in the moon light casting shadows over the grass beside them. It would be serene to an onlooker, though the track snaked its way beside the river up to the Son house.

A boy sat up against his mother's door. It was a common sight lately. He would sit there when his mother thought he was asleep, listening to her cries into the night. Tears ran down his face. Slowly, ever so slowly they fell to the floor.

His father was dead, gone and it was all his fault. Those were his thoughts. The sadistic pleasure he got from seeing that monster Cell suffer had caused his father's death. Since when did innocent little Gohan take pleasure from someone else's suffering? It made him sick thinking back to that day. He had toyed with that insect. Kicked it round and played with it. Even when his father had told him to finish it off he had turned around and said, "Take him down now? No, I think I'll wait. I'm going to let him suffer for a little while."

The sobs coming from his mother's room began to fade. Gradually they fell silent signaling she was asleep. Wiping the tears from his face he stumbled back to his room. Closing his eyes as he slid into bed and a quiet whimper escaped his lips, "Daddy….."

_Called by the wind again, I look up at the sky alone_

_On nights when we can't meet, I send my wish to the stars_

It haunts his mind, night and day, how he let his father die. Memories of fun and laughter ceased long ago, replaced with the same thing.

**Goku appeared in front of Gohan, turning to face him,**

"**Hey, you put up a good fight Gohan, I'm proud of you."**

**The boy heard himself mumble something in response, out of disbelief.**

"**Take care of your mother for me, she needs you. Tell her**

**That I had to do this Gohan."**

**He paused for a moment and smiled.**

"**Goodbye, my son."**

**Turning to face cell again, they both disappeared.**

"**DADDY! COME BACK!" escaped his lips before he crumpled to**

**the ground, warm tears streaming down his face.**

Again and again the memory has caused his eyes to blur. The tears returned as he turned and looked out his window to the sky. Only one star was visible in the blackness, piercing through the night.

"I'm sorry daddy. Sorry that I failed you, let you die. I should have listened and finished him when you told me to..." the boy choked between sobs, "But please daddy, I _need_ you. I _need_ a father."

_Nobody knows the "real me", but_

_Because I'm here, because I'm waiting_

_I want only you to notice me_

Gohan, entangled in the blankets on his bed was tightly grasping his sheets as he cried into his pillow.

"Nobody understands me daddy. They don't know what it's like to have no daddy, what it's like to be the one that killed him. I'm sorry daddy," sitting up he lay his face in his hands, "Are you listening? Can you hear me?"

Slowly he cried himself to sleep.

_For a long, long time, I've been dreaming_

_As if my feelings would someday reach you_

_Are continuing on to you_

_Don't just disappear_

_**Rays of light landed gently on the surface of the lake reflecting the surroundings quiet clearly. Up in the tree Gohan sat below, a chick was eagerly eating the worm its parent was feeding it. The eleven year old was relaxing in the shade of that blossoming Sakura tree, watching his father wrestle a rather large blue fish a little way out into the lake. He couldn't believe that a fish was actually giving his father a hard time, bursting into laughter a few times when the fish fought back at one point slapping Goku in the face with its fin. **_

_**The two had just come back from the Cell Games, victorious and very happy to finally be at piece and able to enjoy the company of family and friends. Goku had suggested they go fishing earlier that morning as it was their favorite pastime. They were at the lake that the river running along beside their house feeds into and the weather was impeccable.**_

_**Having finally wrestled the fish into submission Goku was dragging it out of the water. As he pulled it along the stones that lay around the lake Gohan stared at him blankly. The boy blinked his eyes a few times and looked again. His daddy was fading out of view in front of his eyes.**_

"_**Daddy what's happening?"**_

"_**Goodbye my son…"**_

"_**What? What do you mean goodbye? Where are you going?"**_

"_**Goodbye…"**_

"_**DADDY! COME BACK!"**_

Gasping Gohan ran his hands through his hair as he woke. Cold sweat was dripping down his body. He was confused. He had never had this dream before. It was always of his father taking Cell to King Kai's planet. Why did his mind have to torment him like this?

_Who are you thinking of? What are you looking at?_

_The reason I can't be honest is that I'm weak_

"What were you thinking when you decided you weren't coming back dad? Did you think you were protecting us? Bad guys are still going to come daddy. They're still going to destroy the earth whether you're here or not. You staying dead just means one less person to protect the earth. It means I don't have my father, my best friend anymore."

Gohan turned to look at the clock that sat beside his bed. It read 2:45am. He couldn't stand this any longer. Wiping the wetness from his eyes he changed into the gi that his mother had made him when Goku had died. It was exactly the same as his father's save for being smaller. He opened his window ever so carefully. The breeze felt cool on his face as he leaped into the air.

_Like this, I pass the nights, wanting to go and see you soon_

_If my wish were granted, like that time_

_Would you smile at me?_

Wind rushed past him as he flew through the night. He didn't know where he was going; all he knew was that he needed some fresh air and time to think. His mind began to relax as he soared over east district 439. Gohan come to a stop when he realized where he was. Below him was the barren wasteland the Cell Games had taken part on. Plane wrecks and destroyed tanks littered the surrounding area and a statue of Mr. Satan lay where the ring once sat. Once again Gohan was flooded with memories of that fateful day on the 26th of May. Tentatively the boy lowered to the ground. Dropping to his knees he clawed at the ground angrily. Gasping when he realized that this was the exact spot he had been when his father had disappeared he placed his hands in the older set of 'claw' marks dug deep into the ground. Water gathered in a pile on the mud in front of him as his grief flowed out. Letting out a tremendous scream he brought his fist back to earth in a show of rage. How he wished to have his father's embrace back.

_More and more, I show my dreams_

_As if my feelings were unstoppable_

_My trembling, trembling heart_

_Is searching for you_

What seemed like hours passed as Gohan let everything go, finally showing the world the horror that an eleven year old has had to bear. When his body gives in he lays down in the mud. Rain begins to fall as the wind picks up.

A small boy lay alone.

_The sky today is still high and far away_

_I think of my small self, but_

_The stars and the dark and the wind and tomorrow_

_Softly, softly, I close my eyes_

**Well that is it hope you like it. Reviews welcome as I would like to know what to improve upon and what was good.**


End file.
